he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
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Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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