Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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