My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
