Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I need water and some morals
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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