I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
