YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
