You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him