he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.