This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
