had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
