Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
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