the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
