My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
