Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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