I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Why is your signature on my underwear?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
