so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
