can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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