i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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