is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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