I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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