So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Acid is not a monday night drug
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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