1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
