oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She announced her abortion via fbk
i wish my penis had a tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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