It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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