OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
