I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize