dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
