She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
