I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
