Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
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Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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