i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Will exercising make me less horny?
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