i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
