I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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