I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
