Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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