Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
