So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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