i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
