no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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