I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
