I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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