I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
