I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
