just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
