I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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