I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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