so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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