so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
