I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
