what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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