it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
