Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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