You made me cry and you don't even care
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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