its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
