I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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