i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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