Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
