I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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